Hi.
So, I don't even know where to begin. First of all, I should say that I haven't had any experiences with lucidity or anything else in many years. I'm hoping to get it back somehow, only I don't know where to start.
I have had two distinctly different types of experiences. One in which I'm fairly certain I've had lucid dreams. At the time I knew nothing of lucid dreaming save for a small portion of a book I found at a garage sale. It was a quarter. I bought it. I skimmed through it and decided to try (and for myself change pretty drastically) a technique I read about. My interest sprang from a reoccurring dream I'd had every night as a child, as well as a few distinct other dream experiences. I went into what I believed was a WILD on my first try, and every try thereafter. Then something changed and I would go through the same steps and find myself floating above my bed, about five feet or so. It felt like a lucid dream...only different somehow. I was a college student at the time and would frequently take naps in the afternoon as I was generally up late working or studying. So. This is what started happening: I'd lay down, and almost instantly I'd tense up. It was always involuntary. Then I would get the buzzing and just, whoosh, off I'd go. I was not asleep. I would attempt to stop this, but I couldn't. I'd always end up with the floating when I went through, and I never had the ability to move...it was like paralysis. These were very horrible experiences. There was always an outside presence attempting to somehow get inside me or push me out if that makes sense. These were 100% not in my control and very different from the regular sort of lucid experiences I'd have. I really had no gauge as to what was happening because I didn't know much about lucid dreams or OBEs or astral projection to the point that I didn't know they really existed save for the short amount that I'd read in the book. In the final dream I had, I literally said "no more" and I imagined myself smashing the visualized object I would use to enter the dreams or whatever they were. It was the only thing I could think of to wake up. It worked. Since then I have not been able to achieve anything even remotely lucid. My questions: I know this is some sort of mental block, but I've tried everything to get the dreams back to no avail. Also, has anyone ever heard of something like this happening? The involuntary part? At the time this was very terrifying, but I am missing the good experiences a lot and would be willing to deal with the bad part to get the good part back. Any thoughts? I did bring this up in a lucid dreaming forum, and to be honest I didn't feel as though anyone knew what I was talking about. I'd sure love some feedback?