What is actually happening to me?

Okay I could go into more depth with this on what has been happening with me and the spirits, spirit guides, or whatever they are that I am getting closer to, to give more information of this stuck position I am in,  but I only wish to explain only the experiences of me leaving my body, or what has exactly been happening to me.  In the recent days I had a moment where I began to get the vibrations, and then noticed my body floating around through some clouds, high in the sky, and there was an early morning golden sunset and it was beautiful, but I could only get so little of it, because while this happened I still felt that part of my body was still stuck in my body, especially a part that may perhaps greatly increase my awareness, and a part that gives me control on what I do when I leave instead of feeling like a remote control toy or something, and my vision most of the time when I leave is terrible, everything is usually blurred but I have moments where I can see, anyways after this moment of floating through the clouds, the next things I noticed was me lying in my bed, but perhaps another bed, I could see faintly but there was a very bright light, I could faintly see a room of some of some sort, a beautiful room, but the light brightly illuminating this area made me so little in this room,  I could still feel my physical body but at the same time continued to feel my astral body, but only my hands could come out, and then someone put a wooden clipboard in my hands, not one from here, one in which ever plane I was in at the time, and then someone who I could not see began to take control of my hands, using their power to do so, this goes more into my spirit guides and stuff which I will only mention a tiny bit about, so I was writing on this clipboard, could feel the wood, I could feel the paper, and I was actually writing with my ring finger, not a pen or pencil, and of course no ink came out of my finger, in fact nothing but a white highlighter trail came out when I wrote with it, and a female voice was speaking the words of what she was controlling me to write, I could feel that controlling power, don't worry though she means no harm to me, known her for some time now, and I got angry today because yesterday when this experience happened we arranged to meet up today, I was told to put in allot of effort and prepare myself for it, and do my part as much as hers, that moment was that real to be certain, and so I did try to today, but all I got was another day of feeling the vibrations, all I saw was a few clouds and very bright white light, but could not leave, I have so far only had moments where a part of me leaves, but that part has little awareness, little vision, and pretty much no control, and can only experience so little, as this other part of me keep feeling glued back to my physical body, I am unable to go out there properly. Can someone please tell me what is happening to me, why I am stuck and how to get the rest of my body to leave, not just that small part of me, if that is what is happening? I dont want to be in a position where I can see so little, have no control of what I do, and little awareness, I want to be in a position where my awareness is great, good enough for me to know where I want to go, what I want to do, even if it only lasts something like ten seconds, as ofcourse it will take me time to stay out longer, because I also forgot to mention that whenever this other part of me leaves, I can still feel the process of myself leaving my body, so it feels like a little part of me wanted to go wonder off while the rest of me is stuck behind lol Thats just what it feels like anyways, so your help would be greatly appreciated, thanks :)