I don't choose to project

I feel arrogant writing this but I do feel alone when it comes to astral projection, I astral project to some degree every night (as we all do, you know, but consciously), I have say, a dozen signifigant ones a year, all involuntary. I'm 30 now, its been a part of me since my late teens. Its just past 5am here and after a particularly jarring projection I'm awake like most nights waiting until I become so exhausted that I pass into a black unconsciousness for a few hours, don't get me wrong some of it has been amazing, day to day though, quite a hinderance to functioning.

My spirtuality is based on my experiences as opposed to seeking experience by being spirtual and of course a main reason for people to join a forum such as this is to learn the ability, as it should be, I just feel I'm at the other end of the spectrum, not wanting stop it exactly, but control it, I just want someone to go 'yeah just do this and it won't happen if you don't want it to' I haven't earned my level of ability its no great achievement of mine (I've done it twice intentionally in my early 20s then chose to stop).

I'm hoping to learn from people's experiences and understand willful projection and offer any help I can give too.